A letter to my pregnant self

Dear Self,
I know you have seen a lot of these types of letters to a younger self imparting wisdom and whatnot. Well, you get your own personal letter.
You're thinking that you have a pretty good idea how to care for an infant and what it is going to be like. You're so wrong. Take heed. I also know that you have baby brain so I'm going to spell it out for you.

1. Stop saying "any day" after you hit 37 weeks. You still have a month to go and it will feel like 9 if you keep saying "any day."

2. Labor isn't scary or extremely painful. Remember when you broke your leg and walked on it for a week? Yeah, that was worse.

3. Your baby will weigh 9 lbs so lay off the brownies and you might get a baby that is slightly smaller and easier to squeeze out your who-ha.

4. It's a boy. Sorry to ruin the surprise but you sorta knew all along.

5. Your sweet baby boy will not sleep. You will sleep even less. I'm talking minutes per night, not hours.

6. Breastfeeding is hard but you will stick it out and it will get better.

7. Day 3 is the hardest. But so is day 4, day 5, day 6... you get the idea.

8. You will feel like you are losing your mind on many occassions but believe me, it gets a little easier the more you get to know him and what he wants.

9. Start reading "The Wonder Weeks" now so you are prepared for that first leap.

10. Hire a post-partum doula now. No excuses.

11. When you stand up for the first time after giving birth it will feel like there is too much room for all your organs in your body. No, they don't fall out of you even though it will feel like it.

12. Hydrate! All. The. Time.

13. Hemeroids suck.

14. Prepare more freezer meals. You burn through the ones you did pretty quickly.

15. If it bothers you so much that the dishes are piling up and you can't do them yourself, stop looking at them. They will get done eventually.

16. Someone will tell you that your baby is spirted. Sounds cool, right? Yeah, I'm sure it's a cool personality trait but it makes your job a hell of a lot harder. Please read this: The Fussy Baby Site. They tell it like it is and make no apologies. You will see your own thoughts and emotions written in various places on this site and it will make you feel better. It will reassure you that you are not a bad mom. And you're not. Believe me.

17. Nothing beats that first moment when K is placed in your arms at the end of your labor. It feels like the planets aligned and the sun shone brighter and the birds sang sweeter songs. It is the single most life altering experience you will ever have. Drink it in. It is beautiful and lovely. Then remember that moment when you lose your hearing in one ear after your baby screams for five hours and nothing comforts him. Zen.

Being a mother is tough work but you're doing a good job. You're trying everything and you are not giving up. Everyone will tell you that it gets easier and better. I'll let you know when that starts to become true.

Adventures of Keegee-D

I'm sure most children his age (almost 8 months) are as busy as he is. We frequent the mall play areas and indoor playgrounds just so he can expend energy in a place other than the house. Same activities in other surroundings are great.

Here are a few things we have been up to in the past couple months.

A history in photos:

Watching TV at Stir Crazy

 Playing with trucks (my fav)

 Driving around town

 And around the mall

 Taking the sled out for a spin

 With Mr. Newman

 Drunk off fresh air

 Swimming for the first time

 Out for brunch at Milestones for the first time on Father's Day

 Riding in my Jeep

 Swinging the day away

 Cooling off at the water park

 Relaxing under the big top

 Snuggle walking with Mommy

Enjoying the scenery with Daddy

 Playing at the mall

 Dressed up for Halloween

Trying lots of new foods

 Having fun with my fur brother

 Posing for GQ magazine

 Playing with Mommy

 Generally being awesome

He's getting very good at crawling and is using one knee to push himself. I'm predicting by next week he will be crawling. The leaps he has made in the past couple weeks are nothing short of astonishing. I love to see human development happen before my very eyes. It's truly amazing. It's one thing to study developmental psychology, it's quite another to experience it.

EcoBumz Cloth Diaper Review

After writing my review for the ZiggleBaby diaper, I was asked by the owner of the EcoBumz company to test and write a review for their diapers. The two companies go hand-in-hand. I'm not going to get into the history but dive straight into the review. I do have a five month old in the house after all.


I took home two EcoBumz (EB) diapers about a month ago and let me tell you how they differ from my ZiggleBaby (ZB) and Bum Genius (BG) diapers. My other diapers are one size meaning they will fit your baby from about 8 lbs to about 35 lbs or so. The EcoBumz diaper is a fitted diaper that can not be snapped or folded to make them bigger or smaller. Well, I suppose you could do that but I wouldn't recommend it.

The next difference between the BG and EB is located between the legs. I really love this, actually. The EB diaper is not as wide between the legs which is great for my little guy. I get concerned sometimes (like a mom would) that diapers rub his thighs too much or are making him bow-legged. I know I don't really need to worry but I really like the fit on little K.

Another thing that I really love about this diaper is that it's an all-in-one meaning that it doesn't need to be stuffed or folded or anything. This diaper, like most all-in-ones, have the option of adding more fluff. I really like this feature but I have never had to use it. Mind you, the longest K is in a diaper is 3-4 hours.

 

Of course, as with the ZB diapers, it is made from the "fasten anywhere" material where the low-laying hook and loop can literally be fastened anywhere. This can cause an issue which brings me to my first "con" of this review.

If you have diapers with poor hook and loop (otherwise known as Velcro) they may dance and bump and grind in the washer and dryer leading to something of a diaper gang bang when you pull them out of your dryer. Of course, the same happens in the washer even if you are fortunate enough to have a clothes line.

This photo shows all my BG diapers that need the Velcro replaced snuggling up to one EB diaper. I'll save you the trouble of counting, there are 12 diapers. I should say this is not the fault of the EB diapers. All my other diapers that have good Velcro and the laundry tabs hold during the wash do not get involved in this mess. But, I would be remissed to not mention this one thing.

 

One other "con" that I have come to notice occasionally with the diaper is that it can feel a little damp if he is sitting on my knee. There is no leakage and the diaper is waterproof so I am not sure if it is caused by the diaper or if it's because I'm so darn hot all the time. Either way, I felt I should mention it. I only noticed it once of all the times he wore the diapers.

The website claims that it is stain-resistant and I do apologize but I am unable to comment on that as K is EC trained and I haven't cleaned a poopy diaper in quite some time. He had a few accidents while we were travelling about a month ago but not since we have been home. He has never pooped in an EB diaper.

Well, that's all the time I have for this review. My little sunshine is awake and wanting his mommy so I best end here. If my two or three readers have any questions about the product please put it in the comments below and I will do my best to answer them. If I can't answer them directly I can speak with someone at EcoBumz who can.

Thanks for reading! Happy cloth diapering!

The Benefits of Co-Sleeping

I said I would do it, so here 'tis.

Unfortunately I don't have anyone who can come over during the day to help out since we live thousands of kilometres away from family. Well, I have a brother who lives in the city but he is afraid to hold my baby and gags at the mention of poop. So no help there. And since it takes a village to raise a child and I am certainly not a one person village, I needed to find something that could work to save my sanity.

We struggled (and continue to struggle) with sleep with Keegan. I've never seen a newborn fight it so much! He will be warm with a full tummy and a clean bum and show signs of being tired - but he won't sleep. As I type this I am wearing him in his Boba (love this carrier by the way) while bouncing on a ball and I have white noise playing on the computer speakers. This gets him to sleep but as soon as one of these elements is removed he will wake up and be even crankier than before I put him to sleep in the first place. It's a vicious cycle that we are trying to find a way out of. But for now, I'll do whatever it takes to get him to rest even if it keeps me up all night.

When it comes to his nighttime routine I wish we had one. I take him to bed with me at either 9-ish or midnight-ish. Dood is sleeping in the other room right now since little K shares my bed with me. Yes, I refer to it as my and mine since Dood has all but moved out of the room for now. One of us needs to sleep at night and since I am the one with boobs and he is the one who brings home the bacon, little K is with me.

When I was using his bassinet I would wake up when he needed to be fed and take him to his room where the rocking chair and nursing pillow welcomed me. Half way through the feed when he was starting to fall asleep I would change him to piss him off and wake him up, then nurse him back to sleep so I was sure he had a full tummy and clean bum. Then I would put him back in his bassinet where he would sleep for 10 hours. Yeah right! More like ten minutes. Then I would spend the next 2 to 3 hours trying to calm him from his melt down and put him back to sleep. By then he would be hungry again so he would have slept for about another 10 minutes. It was horrible. I was averaging about one hour of sleep per 24 hours and this sleep was for a few minutes here and there. Some times I would wake up to find myself with boob in K's mouth and my head resting on his leg. That damn hormone that is released while breastfeeding that puts you to sleep is the worst in the first few weeks.

I finally had a meltdown and called my midwife who came over to discuss coping and options. The skinny of it was that I should share my bed with little K and learn to breastfeed laying down. Dude, I'll do anything. The first night we did this he woke up twice to feed. He was so much happier and so was this mama. We have not had another night like that since but it is something I strive for now. I am getting more sleep than I was thankfully, but not as much as I would like. Most of the time he is just fussy... for every reason. He doesn't have the greatest self-coping skills and relies of me to help him. This usually entails breastfeeding. I know that some of the experienced mothers are shaking their heads at me and saying I will pay for it down the road but I don't care for a couple reasons. Number 1: I live in the now and right now I am going to do what works and worry about tomorrow when the time comes. Number 2: The one or two people who read my blog probably don't care :)

Anyway, the bottom line is, if you find yourself in the same predicament that I did where you and your newborn are not sleeping and you find yourself on the couch crying at 5 am with a screaming baby and feeling like a horrible mother - you're not alone. You're not a horrible mother, your baby isn't broken, and you have options. Try sharing your bed just make sure you do so safely. K sleeps in the middle of my bed no matter which breast he is feeding from and the pillows are off the bed except the one I am using and it's far enough away I don't need to worry about his finding his way under it. Also, I use a warm bed sheet so the comforter is not over him. He is swaddled tighter than a frog's arse and I am not under the influence of any drugs. Oh, and I put down a receiving blanket that I change daily in case of any spills or spit up.

Still not convinced. Check out this article on Dr. Sears' website: Scientific Benefits of Co-Sleeping

Oh yeah, and white noise helps a lot. I use this video and it helps put me to sleep too. Twelve hours of white noise

The other thing I downloaded that is very helpful for the car when he is freaking out and I am driving is the baby shusher app. Greatest invention ever!

Sleeping like a baby

ZiggleBaby Product Review

I've been a mom for three weeks and a day and I have changed many a diaper. Keegan had his bum wrapped in cloth diapers for about two weeks. I bought a pack of disposables for the first week or so until the meconium was cleared and I felt like I might actually somewhat have the hang of being a mommy. Well, I did say somewhat.

Before Keegan was born I purchased a bunch of one size cloth diapers from kijiji, The Calgary Cloth Diaper Depot, and ZiggleBaby. Most of my friends really like Bum Genius so my stash is mainly comprised of this brand. I also have a small arsenal of ZiggleBaby and that is the purpose of this review.

ZiggleBaby (or Zigs as I like to call them) is a relatively new brand that I didn't know about before I bought them. They sell one-size cloth diapers through their website listed here. They also sell that lovely laundry ball I wrote about earlier. I compare them to the Bum Genius (BG) I have in my drawer as well.

Zigs are the true one-size diaper. Keegan has leaked out of his BG diapers and I have had to change his entire outfit. They are absorbent enough but when he is laying on his side the pee can come out the legs because they don't really fit the best. That is why I love my ZiggleBaby diapers more. That gusset in the legs have saved many a sleeper and onesie in the past three weeks. I also really like the idea that it doesn't need to be stuffed like my BG diapers need to be. You just lay the pad on top and secure it with the magic buttons. Most of the time I can just put down another pad and not have to wash the outer shell because the mess is contained so well.

Now to the fit. I love that these really are one size and yet not nearly as bulky as my BG diapers. His ghetto booty is not nearly as ghetto in these diapers. And the best part is that they will grow with him. These are definitely the first diaper I reach for and they are also my motivator for getting my diaper laundry done as often as it needs to be done because I want more clean Zigs in my drawer.

I love the color selection and I would love to see more colors and patterns as the business grows. But really, he is wearing clothes over them so it doesn't really matter what colors they are. The colors are more for me anyway. :)

Please check out their youtube channel for more information and reviews: YouTube

Sorry that this is the quick and dirty review but I wanted to post something because I love these diapers so much. I am literally bouncing on my ball with Keegan in his carrier and strapped to my chest. This little dove needs to sleep but won't unless he is touching me. I'll write about co-sleeping and baby wearing another time.

Keegan James Doody

Well, it happened! My sweet little boy was born at 8:28 am on Wednesday, March 13, 2013. I have been wanting to record his birth story before time and sleep deprivation blurs my memory so here goes:

I went to visit my midwife on Tuesday morning in hopes of stimulating labor but since the team had attended another birth overnight I was asked to wait. Fine. But Keegan had other things in mind. Chris stayed home with me that afternoon and I felt pretty good. In hindsight it was probably some early labor happening. Tuesday night is also the night we usually go to our birth class and I wanted to go. Chris said he didn't and knew I wouldn't drive there myself. Instead, my friend and massage therapist had some time for me and offered a massage. Sure, sounds good. I told her that I had some light cramping but nothing serious. She said that it probably wasn't labor either since it was focused low and in one place instead of my entire abdomen or in my back. I tried not to get my hopes up but I continued to take my homoeopathics and bounce and eat and drink and do everything that I mentioned in my last post.

I finally tuned into my body later that night and decided I would keep track of these little cramps since they started to become more rhythmic. I wrote down the time on the back of an envelope and looked at the time between them while Chris napped on the couch. I told him he could go to bed but he decided to rest there. I decided I would continue doing what I was doing since the contractions were not easing up but getting more intense.

One of the lovely mommies in my midwife centering group said when she had her daughter she would breathe through the contraction and on the exhale she would say "open". I went with that and before I knew it I woke Chris up and told him we needed to get the bed ready for the home birth.

Now, when birthing at home they recommend that you put down a shower curtain over your made up bed then put an old sheet set over the curtain. I helped Chris do this while I was in active labor. A few weeks ago I put all the towels and needed items together in a laundry basket so we bought that into the room with us for easy access.

I remember thinking, it's going to get worse. I thought it was a good time to jump in the shower to see how the water would feel with my contractions. It was nice but I felt it slowed things. I really wanted to make sure I was doing whatever I needed to keep them intense and close together. I got out of the shower and decided that since they continued to be intense while standing that I would go with that. I stood near the high dresser in our room where I could put my head down and focus through the contraction. Still, I remember thinking, it's going to get worse. For something that I have no control over I certainly felt in control for the moment.

After a few more contractions while timing them with my app (yeah, there's an app for that) I told Chris to call the midwife pager. I even remember thinking, ha, poor suckers. They didn't want to push me into labor but I went on my own anyway. Cassie was the primary on call midwife and I spoke to her for a moment. She asked to hear me through a contraction. Ok. Here goes. She said that I was certainly in active labor but there was still some time. She told me to keep doing what I was doing and she would swing by Tim Horton's and grab a coffee and she would be at my house in about 45 minutes. I told Chris to move the car so she could park close to our townhouse. Visitor parking is hard to come by. While he moved the car I decided to hop in the shower. Chris has been helping me through contractions by rubbing my back. It felt good and it reminded me that I was going through all of this for us. I remember thinking, it's going to get worse.

Cassie got to our house and brought all her things into our bedroom. They carry with them the equivalent of a level one hospital so she had a few things to say the least. When she checked me I was 5-6 cm dilated and fully effaced. Rock on! I was afraid I would be one of those women who experience all these contractions and be one cm. Nope, this mama was working hard and it was paying off. I continued to labor standing up.

I remember standing and the contractions were coming hard and fast so I said to Chris "transition". He told Cassie who listened and agreed. 

Cassie called the student midwife, Tanya, who got to my house at some point. This is where things get a little blurry.

They checked me after 5 hours of active labor and this mama was ready to push. I actually pushed a few things while standing before I could tell her I needed to push. After a few positions that I said no to they wanted me to push while on the toilet to see how it was going. I did that for a bit and then they asked if I wanted to try side lying. I hated the pressure the caused but it was effective. That is the best thing about the midwives is that they ask, not tell... well, to a point. I went with it and spent the rest of pushing on my side. I had to move in a few different ways a couple times but for the most part it was side lying. Jane, the back-up midwife got to my house at some point while I was pushing. After about 2 hours of pushing the most incredible moment came to pass. Tanya, the student midwife caught Keegan James Doody and was placed on my tummy at 8:28 am on 3/13/13. He was pudgy and beautiful and absolutely perfect. I couldn't believe it! He was finally here. Chris watched the whole time and was so supportive and amazing.

After some time with mommy, they took him to weigh him. Holy smokes Batman! He's 9 lbs even! Wow! No wonder it took two hours of pushing. Oddly enough, it never got worse. I never felt like I couldn't handle it or that I needed drugs.

I remember this was the first time I opened my eyes in a long time and the sun was shining in through the window and the birds were singing. I was told that it was so warm and spring-like that morning. I was more enamoured with the beautiful little being in my arms. Perfection. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat and I can't imagine doing it anywhere but in my home and on my bed. Thank you to my incredible midwives.

Operation: Labor Induction

Ok, seriously. Baby, you are two days overdue and I don't want to be pregnant for ten months. Time to get serious about getting you out.

Everyone has heard stories about how to induce labor. Go for a walk. Have sex. Drink raspberry leaf tea. Drink Castor Oil (yuck). Eat pineapple. Or, in the case of a lovely young couple in my birthing class, go to the zoo.

I've picked my poison.

My friend/massage therapist/doula/young mom/magic maker told me to get evening primrose oil and start taking it. Baby brain intervened and made me forget until I saw her again today. Finally, I decided to write it down so I would remember to get some. Check.

Long massage by the above magic maker to try to induce labor. Check.

A lady in the elevator yesterday told me to eat pineapple... and lots of it. Check.

The old tried and true raspberry leaf tea. Check. Bonus: it also contains rose hips.

Plus, I have been taking the homoeopathic EZ Birth for about a week now and I have upped the dosage to the maximum 5 pellets twice per day. Check.

We were going to go to the zoo yesterday but ended up having to take a side trip to the hospital to check on the baby's heart rate. Everything is a-ok by the way. But it took a lot of time to get there, get parking (yeah, about thirty minutes of driving around), and to actually get the NST done. All is well and the lovely nurse who checked on us looked like Alyssa Milano. She was very sweet.

I should mention that today tonight is attempt number one of evicting my little tenant. I have about two pounds of pineapple sitting in my fridge... well, about half that now since as I type I am chowing down on the other half of it. I'll eat it all if I have to.

Sex. Well, it's not that kind of blog so no comment. But something completely unrelated, I learnt two things that you should not do to your husband while pregnant. Number 1, do not fake labor or water breaking. Ever. They don't think it's as funny as you do. Number 2, don't do impressions of Fat Bastard especially when nude or almost nude. Seriously. It's doesn't help matters. Not that any of that ever happened to me or anything. Er... a friend of mine did it and told me. Yeah, that's it.

Back to Operation: Labor Induction.

Dood has a hockey game tomorrow night that he is hoping he will get to play. My goal is to be not pregnant by then. Oh please let me be right.

One of my early labor coping strategies is to blog so for the two or three people who read this, you'll know if the above strategies worked or not. I hope my next entry will be written while in labor and not in frustration and pineapple overload.