It's a...

I have the most wonderful, funniest, spirited little boy a proud momma could ask for. He is my everything and my world. When we decided to complete our family with another child, I immediately got excited (and a little tired) and wondered who this new person might be and how he/she will fit into the dynamics of our family. I wondered how I would manage two under two. And, just like the first time, we were blessed with a pregnancy as soon as he looked at me and lifted his eyebrow. Fertile bunch I suppose. I am incredibly thankful as I know for many of my friends it has not been so easy. And to be pregnant while still breastfeeding is an added challenge. Don’t underestimate how thankful I am. It was an added gift to get a positive pregnancy test on the morning of my first day back to work after my year long maternity leave.

Dood and I started to wonder right away if this one might be a little girl. We have a boy, maybe this one will be a girl. His opposite and partner. His buddy. We had a name picked out and referred to the bump by that name. On June 13 we went for our first ultrasound about mid-way through the pregnancy. I told the tech I didn’t want to know the gender but my husband did so don’t say it out loud. She told me when she was going to look and I closed my eyes. They exchanged silent words and that was that.

We no longer referred to the baby with the girls name, just in case.

Fast forward two weeks when we did the Color Me Rad 5k. I had told Dood that I wanted him to “tell” me there. So we wore all white and, armed with our pink and blue color blasters, we waited patiently in line to get our before photos done where he would blast me with the corresponding color of the baby’s gender.  Now, I have to hand it to him, Dood is amazingly skilled at keeping secrets. Many people tried to get him to tell the gender only to be shut down. I painstakingly tried to avoid searching his face and voice for any clue as he kept redirecting conversations but that was tough. Part of me wanted to know but I am happy that I waited for this moment.

Here we are in line to have the photos taken. I tell the photographer my master plan and how I am using this as a gender reveal photo shoot. I’m nervous and excited. Here is my little family about to learn if we will be the parents of two boys or if we will be that 'million dollar' family with one of each. If it’s a boy will I be satisfied or will I want to ‘try’ for a girl. At what point do you stop? No, whatever the outcome, this will be the youngest child. Two and we’re through.

Ok, here goes! I close my eyes and take a deep breath. The feel of the colored cornstarch coating my body feels strange. Freeing. Liberating. No more waiting. When I open my eyes I will know the truth. Will it be a boy or girl? How will I feel about it? What if I am disappointed? What if what if what if. For goodness sakes already - open your freakin’ eyes and take a look!

I open my eyes to see the color.

It’s a…

A letter to my pregnant self

Dear Self,
I know you have seen a lot of these types of letters to a younger self imparting wisdom and whatnot. Well, you get your own personal letter.
You're thinking that you have a pretty good idea how to care for an infant and what it is going to be like. You're so wrong. Take heed. I also know that you have baby brain so I'm going to spell it out for you.

1. Stop saying "any day" after you hit 37 weeks. You still have a month to go and it will feel like 9 if you keep saying "any day."

2. Labor isn't scary or extremely painful. Remember when you broke your leg and walked on it for a week? Yeah, that was worse.

3. Your baby will weigh 9 lbs so lay off the brownies and you might get a baby that is slightly smaller and easier to squeeze out your who-ha.

4. It's a boy. Sorry to ruin the surprise but you sorta knew all along.

5. Your sweet baby boy will not sleep. You will sleep even less. I'm talking minutes per night, not hours.

6. Breastfeeding is hard but you will stick it out and it will get better.

7. Day 3 is the hardest. But so is day 4, day 5, day 6... you get the idea.

8. You will feel like you are losing your mind on many occassions but believe me, it gets a little easier the more you get to know him and what he wants.

9. Start reading "The Wonder Weeks" now so you are prepared for that first leap.

10. Hire a post-partum doula now. No excuses.

11. When you stand up for the first time after giving birth it will feel like there is too much room for all your organs in your body. No, they don't fall out of you even though it will feel like it.

12. Hydrate! All. The. Time.

13. Hemeroids suck.

14. Prepare more freezer meals. You burn through the ones you did pretty quickly.

15. If it bothers you so much that the dishes are piling up and you can't do them yourself, stop looking at them. They will get done eventually.

16. Someone will tell you that your baby is spirted. Sounds cool, right? Yeah, I'm sure it's a cool personality trait but it makes your job a hell of a lot harder. Please read this: The Fussy Baby Site. They tell it like it is and make no apologies. You will see your own thoughts and emotions written in various places on this site and it will make you feel better. It will reassure you that you are not a bad mom. And you're not. Believe me.

17. Nothing beats that first moment when K is placed in your arms at the end of your labor. It feels like the planets aligned and the sun shone brighter and the birds sang sweeter songs. It is the single most life altering experience you will ever have. Drink it in. It is beautiful and lovely. Then remember that moment when you lose your hearing in one ear after your baby screams for five hours and nothing comforts him. Zen.

Being a mother is tough work but you're doing a good job. You're trying everything and you are not giving up. Everyone will tell you that it gets easier and better. I'll let you know when that starts to become true.

Operation: Labor Induction

Ok, seriously. Baby, you are two days overdue and I don't want to be pregnant for ten months. Time to get serious about getting you out.

Everyone has heard stories about how to induce labor. Go for a walk. Have sex. Drink raspberry leaf tea. Drink Castor Oil (yuck). Eat pineapple. Or, in the case of a lovely young couple in my birthing class, go to the zoo.

I've picked my poison.

My friend/massage therapist/doula/young mom/magic maker told me to get evening primrose oil and start taking it. Baby brain intervened and made me forget until I saw her again today. Finally, I decided to write it down so I would remember to get some. Check.

Long massage by the above magic maker to try to induce labor. Check.

A lady in the elevator yesterday told me to eat pineapple... and lots of it. Check.

The old tried and true raspberry leaf tea. Check. Bonus: it also contains rose hips.

Plus, I have been taking the homoeopathic EZ Birth for about a week now and I have upped the dosage to the maximum 5 pellets twice per day. Check.

We were going to go to the zoo yesterday but ended up having to take a side trip to the hospital to check on the baby's heart rate. Everything is a-ok by the way. But it took a lot of time to get there, get parking (yeah, about thirty minutes of driving around), and to actually get the NST done. All is well and the lovely nurse who checked on us looked like Alyssa Milano. She was very sweet.

I should mention that today tonight is attempt number one of evicting my little tenant. I have about two pounds of pineapple sitting in my fridge... well, about half that now since as I type I am chowing down on the other half of it. I'll eat it all if I have to.

Sex. Well, it's not that kind of blog so no comment. But something completely unrelated, I learnt two things that you should not do to your husband while pregnant. Number 1, do not fake labor or water breaking. Ever. They don't think it's as funny as you do. Number 2, don't do impressions of Fat Bastard especially when nude or almost nude. Seriously. It's doesn't help matters. Not that any of that ever happened to me or anything. Er... a friend of mine did it and told me. Yeah, that's it.

Back to Operation: Labor Induction.

Dood has a hockey game tomorrow night that he is hoping he will get to play. My goal is to be not pregnant by then. Oh please let me be right.

One of my early labor coping strategies is to blog so for the two or three people who read this, you'll know if the above strategies worked or not. I hope my next entry will be written while in labor and not in frustration and pineapple overload.

Raspberry-Swirl Cheesecake

I've been known to bake and create on occasion.

Now that Dood has a few options of sports on TV I've got the kitchen to myself. He knows that he is better off asking me to get something for him than come into my domain when I've got my bake on. Even Newman knows to stay out of the kitchen. I have peace.

A friend brought these delectable mini cheesecakes into work one day this week and since then I have been unable to stop thinking about it. Could be the pregnancy or that I'm a sucker for cheesecake.

I immediately asked for more information about the concoction to which she replied, "Martha Stewart". Nuff said. Online I went and found the recipe. I liked the idea of modifying for mini cheesecakes. I thought it would prevent me from slicing off a piece the size of my leg.

I've never used a Martha recipe and thought, "Oh boy, this is going to be complex" since she is the Queen of Domestication. Not so. I have to say, it was rather simple with simple ingredients.

At one point I had to stop and look at myself. "Oh for Pete's sake! I'm barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen!". Oh well, at least I get to eat cheesecake after.

One thing to note with this recipe is that I found my oven to run a little hot (that's an understatement). Oh wait, I'm not talking about being pregnant again. I mean my actual oven not the baby oven. Anyway, I found that the base got a little too overdone. It may also be that I modified the recipe for 9 mini cakes. Next time I'll leave them in for 7 minutes instead of 9. But really, who cares? I'm still going to eat it.

Here's the recipe but be warned. It's so freakin' good that you may eat more than one mini cake or you may find yourself eating less at dinner to make sure you have enough room left for a slice of cheesecake that's as big as your leg. Jus' sayin'.

Raspberry-Swirl Cheesecake

Thanks Martha - for widening my ass.