Frat Boy Parties

Last night was rough. For some reason I thought I would try and tweak Keegan's bedtime a bit. It resulted in him falling asleep super quick and being in bed 30 minutes sooner than he normally does. He was also fairly easy to get back to sleep the first time he woke up. Wow! This is awesome.

I went to bed at 10.

Less than 5 minutes later he's awake again (I'm not really surprised as he doesn't sleep more than 40 minutes anyway) so I go out and bring him back to bed with me. It's the same thing I do every night, Pinky.

Then 10:00 became 11:00.

And 11:00 became 12:00.

Keegan is dancing in the bed. Literally dancing. He holds my head for support on the soft surface and awkwardly dances while singing.

Seriously?

Did I mention he's 14 months old?

I called out for Daddy to come take my little partier away since I needed to work in the morning and he didn't. He tried for about 10 minutes to get him to sleep which I knew would fail. He had no sleep in his body and was fully energized for a play session.

They go downstairs. No point trying to force sleep that will not come. It's what I would have done too.

Keegan's toy of choice: That F- ing Corn Popper!
Keegan's voice of choice: The Loudest Yells and Calls EVER!

So much for sleep.

I lay in bed tossing and turning hoping for sleep to come through all this racket while watching the clock tick away. I briefly considered just getting up for the day by 1:30. I'm too tired for that crap. I'll just lay here and get more frustrated that I can't sleep.

Then I realized. Keegan is my child. Yes, I know he's my child, but he's really my child. I am not a good sleeper. It takes me forever to go to sleep and I wake frequently. I went years without sleeping through the night and that was long before baby and before Mr. Newman. You know what this means, right? He probably won't sleep through the night forever. He hasn't yet.

I give up.

2:00. Dood comes in with what I imagine to be bloodshot eyes and a weary look on his face. "I'm exhausted"

Yup. Me too. Give me the monster and he can hang out with me til the sun comes up. I'm not getting any sleep anyway.

Well wouldn't you know it. Ten minutes later he snuggles in for a spoon. Too bad he messed up the coordinates and ended up with his foot on my head and his head near my arse. Ha! Not a good spot to be in, buddy. But it's sleep. I drift off peacefully thinking he's got to be tired enough to give me a few hours.

3:30. "I want boob." While he didn't actually say it, pulling up my shirt as he screams in my face is pretty much the international sign for boobs.

4:00. Ok, he's got some warm milk in his belly, and he's GOT to be tired. This should be it.

5:30. Flopping around like a fish out of water and complaining. I ignore him. He goes back to sleep.

7:00. Shit. I slept in. Well, I slept later than I should have. Where's Keegan? Head to arse again and I'm on the edge of the bed while that prime real estate near the wall remains un-slept in. Awesome. Who needs a queen bed with you sleep on an area the size of a small cot?

Since I can't wear sweat pants to work I chose my wrinkly cotton dress that's better than sweats and I have the worst bedhead ever. A little under eye concealer and I stumble downstairs ready to start the day.

Guess who will be going to bed at his normal bedtime tonight?

The Benefits of Co-Sleeping

I said I would do it, so here 'tis.

Unfortunately I don't have anyone who can come over during the day to help out since we live thousands of kilometres away from family. Well, I have a brother who lives in the city but he is afraid to hold my baby and gags at the mention of poop. So no help there. And since it takes a village to raise a child and I am certainly not a one person village, I needed to find something that could work to save my sanity.

We struggled (and continue to struggle) with sleep with Keegan. I've never seen a newborn fight it so much! He will be warm with a full tummy and a clean bum and show signs of being tired - but he won't sleep. As I type this I am wearing him in his Boba (love this carrier by the way) while bouncing on a ball and I have white noise playing on the computer speakers. This gets him to sleep but as soon as one of these elements is removed he will wake up and be even crankier than before I put him to sleep in the first place. It's a vicious cycle that we are trying to find a way out of. But for now, I'll do whatever it takes to get him to rest even if it keeps me up all night.

When it comes to his nighttime routine I wish we had one. I take him to bed with me at either 9-ish or midnight-ish. Dood is sleeping in the other room right now since little K shares my bed with me. Yes, I refer to it as my and mine since Dood has all but moved out of the room for now. One of us needs to sleep at night and since I am the one with boobs and he is the one who brings home the bacon, little K is with me.

When I was using his bassinet I would wake up when he needed to be fed and take him to his room where the rocking chair and nursing pillow welcomed me. Half way through the feed when he was starting to fall asleep I would change him to piss him off and wake him up, then nurse him back to sleep so I was sure he had a full tummy and clean bum. Then I would put him back in his bassinet where he would sleep for 10 hours. Yeah right! More like ten minutes. Then I would spend the next 2 to 3 hours trying to calm him from his melt down and put him back to sleep. By then he would be hungry again so he would have slept for about another 10 minutes. It was horrible. I was averaging about one hour of sleep per 24 hours and this sleep was for a few minutes here and there. Some times I would wake up to find myself with boob in K's mouth and my head resting on his leg. That damn hormone that is released while breastfeeding that puts you to sleep is the worst in the first few weeks.

I finally had a meltdown and called my midwife who came over to discuss coping and options. The skinny of it was that I should share my bed with little K and learn to breastfeed laying down. Dude, I'll do anything. The first night we did this he woke up twice to feed. He was so much happier and so was this mama. We have not had another night like that since but it is something I strive for now. I am getting more sleep than I was thankfully, but not as much as I would like. Most of the time he is just fussy... for every reason. He doesn't have the greatest self-coping skills and relies of me to help him. This usually entails breastfeeding. I know that some of the experienced mothers are shaking their heads at me and saying I will pay for it down the road but I don't care for a couple reasons. Number 1: I live in the now and right now I am going to do what works and worry about tomorrow when the time comes. Number 2: The one or two people who read my blog probably don't care :)

Anyway, the bottom line is, if you find yourself in the same predicament that I did where you and your newborn are not sleeping and you find yourself on the couch crying at 5 am with a screaming baby and feeling like a horrible mother - you're not alone. You're not a horrible mother, your baby isn't broken, and you have options. Try sharing your bed just make sure you do so safely. K sleeps in the middle of my bed no matter which breast he is feeding from and the pillows are off the bed except the one I am using and it's far enough away I don't need to worry about his finding his way under it. Also, I use a warm bed sheet so the comforter is not over him. He is swaddled tighter than a frog's arse and I am not under the influence of any drugs. Oh, and I put down a receiving blanket that I change daily in case of any spills or spit up.

Still not convinced. Check out this article on Dr. Sears' website: Scientific Benefits of Co-Sleeping

Oh yeah, and white noise helps a lot. I use this video and it helps put me to sleep too. Twelve hours of white noise

The other thing I downloaded that is very helpful for the car when he is freaking out and I am driving is the baby shusher app. Greatest invention ever!

Sleeping like a baby