It's a...

I have the most wonderful, funniest, spirited little boy a proud momma could ask for. He is my everything and my world. When we decided to complete our family with another child, I immediately got excited (and a little tired) and wondered who this new person might be and how he/she will fit into the dynamics of our family. I wondered how I would manage two under two. And, just like the first time, we were blessed with a pregnancy as soon as he looked at me and lifted his eyebrow. Fertile bunch I suppose. I am incredibly thankful as I know for many of my friends it has not been so easy. And to be pregnant while still breastfeeding is an added challenge. Don’t underestimate how thankful I am. It was an added gift to get a positive pregnancy test on the morning of my first day back to work after my year long maternity leave.

Dood and I started to wonder right away if this one might be a little girl. We have a boy, maybe this one will be a girl. His opposite and partner. His buddy. We had a name picked out and referred to the bump by that name. On June 13 we went for our first ultrasound about mid-way through the pregnancy. I told the tech I didn’t want to know the gender but my husband did so don’t say it out loud. She told me when she was going to look and I closed my eyes. They exchanged silent words and that was that.

We no longer referred to the baby with the girls name, just in case.

Fast forward two weeks when we did the Color Me Rad 5k. I had told Dood that I wanted him to “tell” me there. So we wore all white and, armed with our pink and blue color blasters, we waited patiently in line to get our before photos done where he would blast me with the corresponding color of the baby’s gender.  Now, I have to hand it to him, Dood is amazingly skilled at keeping secrets. Many people tried to get him to tell the gender only to be shut down. I painstakingly tried to avoid searching his face and voice for any clue as he kept redirecting conversations but that was tough. Part of me wanted to know but I am happy that I waited for this moment.

Here we are in line to have the photos taken. I tell the photographer my master plan and how I am using this as a gender reveal photo shoot. I’m nervous and excited. Here is my little family about to learn if we will be the parents of two boys or if we will be that 'million dollar' family with one of each. If it’s a boy will I be satisfied or will I want to ‘try’ for a girl. At what point do you stop? No, whatever the outcome, this will be the youngest child. Two and we’re through.

Ok, here goes! I close my eyes and take a deep breath. The feel of the colored cornstarch coating my body feels strange. Freeing. Liberating. No more waiting. When I open my eyes I will know the truth. Will it be a boy or girl? How will I feel about it? What if I am disappointed? What if what if what if. For goodness sakes already - open your freakin’ eyes and take a look!

I open my eyes to see the color.

It’s a…